A Podium for Expression by Hosni Mubarak

When the idea of a blogspot for Sigma's Vice President was originated by Harb Johnson, many people were indifferent to it. People didn't think much of Harb's conception, because in this business-like environment, everyone assumed that no one could allocate the time to read the thoughts of others. Being the Vice President of any organization is a crisis for those who assume the distinction. You are the understudy to the President, yet you are obligated to perform at an exceptional level. Some consider you a lackey, others question your credentials, while the majority find you irrelevant. But SigmaVPSpeaks gave the Vice President a podium to express his or her feelings and to find some relevance in a thankless position.

Reading the works of authors and friends have always been a full-course entree' for me . I shrewdly digest the idiosyncrasies and habitual patterns of a writer and apply some of their techniques to my style. Writing is an art. A very delicate one at that. It's a burden to many and a passion to some. It's a vehicle to coordinate protest and dissension. Yet at the same time, it is a medium to express praise and approbation. When I read Harb's articles I became enamored. His articles were seductive, engrossing and intellectually refreshing. He constantly focused on Sigma-related anecdotes and applied his personal philosophies to them. I became an avid fan of Harb's written work. His issues concerned the organization I was intimately involved in and there were subliminal allusions to a lot of the members of the organization. Harb being Harb, never revealed the member's he wrote about, yet he expected his readers to uncover the mysteries themselves. It was a treacherous journey to unearth his riddles, yet it stimulated the mind.

My adventurous trek with SigmaVPSpeaks began in the Fall of '07. I harassed Harb into allowing me to write an article and he relented after weeks of persistent clamor. The article had no relevance to Sigma Alpha Delta. It was my assessment of the female gender, aptly titled "Nice Guys Finish Last". The article caused a stir amongst certain circles because it paved the path for a meaningful discourse about sexual relations between men and women. Before the article, I was an unknown. After the article, people started inquiring about my ethnic background, my personality, some even began perusing my facebook profile--all of this was an attempt to comprehend the constitution of my character. Was I an objective observer of human relations? Or was I some jerk who wanted to spark a contentious debate for the hell of it? The instant notoriety was amusing to me. I mean, how does an emotional diatribe end up causing such a controversy?

The following Spring semester, I was elected as the Vice President of Sigma. I became the mouthpiece for SigmaVP Speaks. As much as I love writing, I never wanted to bombard my readers with constant articles, therefore I wrote an article once a month, choosing quality over quantity. My articles were the routes to my soul. People who read them could understand the gravity of my emotions during that time period. Many, including my predecessor, had admonished me about being too personal in such a public medium. However, I intentionally ignored them, because I believed that honesty was the best policy. Why conceal how I felt? I would sabotage the entire meaning behind the blog if I did. When I wrote "Pieces on a Board", I tried to amalgamate two infatuations of mine--Sigma Alpha Delta and Chess. Comparing the game of chess to Sigma's hierarchy was an enriching experience as it allowed me to venture "outside of the box" and provide a plausible analogy to the Sigma experience. However, there were a few ill-advised sentences in the articles which curtailed my relationship with certain members of Sigma. Do I acknowledge the miscalculation of those sentences? Yes. Do I regret saying how I felt at the time? Never. The certain level of scrutiny which accommodated that article was bewildering to me. My podium of expression had become a death trap. I understood that my words had a certain density which could not be discounted nor diminished. People did tune in for my articles and would be disappointed if they thought I was trying to slight them. The next article I wrote graphed my evolution and transformation on a personal level. I endured a lot of stress, controversy and contempt from certain circles of the organization. At first, I was dejected. But after awhile, I learned from my mistakes and conformed to the standards which were required of a Vice President.

The Spring 2008 semester was tumultuous and frustrating for me as a leader in Sigma, but it was enriching for me as a man who is about to be unleashed into Corporate America. Through it all, SigmaVPSpeaks documented the emotional fluctuations that I experienced. I ascended to the heights of the organization and SigmaVPSpeaks accompanied my rise. Jotting down your feelings helps in mitigating their poignancy. SigmaVPSpeaks gave me a faceless audience. They knew me, but I didn't know them. I was indifferent either way. I invested myself, they invested their time to my articles. I'm grateful for that.